No friends = solitude?
I really want to just be more laid-back, but the slightest things in life just irritate me. I think it's always been this way for me, but it seems to be getting worse, especially as I distance myself from most of society by being online too much.
I had a friend who would always send me the most annoying memes/shitposts in DMs. If I were anyone else, I'd probably be brutally honest about their sense of humor, but I'm not a mean person. I try to keep those feelings to myself for the betterment of everyone around me.
I'm currently working on trying to better myself, such as with self-compassion, to eliminate these negative feelings I give to people, which are practically unfair, as nobody deserves this. Thankfully, I never speak my mind during those moments, so I can still keep my friends around long enough, but I'm just so tired. I still have this friend sometimes, but we are on the brink of losing connection because we're not as interested in each other as we once were.
So technically, I still have a friend, but I like to say I have no friends now. I don't know if I actually want to make friends or if I prefer my solitude. I've lived through one year of solitude before, and I have no problem living that lifestyle again.
